I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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