The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
