That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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