like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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