no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
