He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
