i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
