Plan B is the new Plan A
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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