highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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