Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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