Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
