I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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