He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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