Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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