no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
