11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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