So drunk, too bad you don't want this
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Sorry about my life...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
