I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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