I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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