yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
