Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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