actually, I'm a sock model
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
