so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
