You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
