is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
