five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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