That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
