Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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