As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize