He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
