in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
