He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize