It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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