operation harelip BJ is a go
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
