Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
