I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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