Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Your dad touched me again.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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