shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize