So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Drunk is not a location!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
