So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
