considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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