At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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