I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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