it was like eating out sand paper
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
