Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
