Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
