do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
What changed your mind?
Being sober
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
