My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
