And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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