meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
