Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
