you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
