I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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