Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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