i just made my gag reflex go away.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize