If i come over, it means nothing
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
