Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
tell me about the eggs
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize