he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
