I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
