I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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