wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
