dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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