so that wasnt chicken after all
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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