Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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