I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
