I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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