Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
