tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
