similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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