Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
